The pain never fades. But for the Soo’s Gail Provenzano, running helps keep it moving.
Fifteen years after her 15-year-old son, Brett, died by suicide, the Sault Ste. Marie mother still carries his photo – along with his football jersey number, 61 — when she runs.
Provenzano says she’s found a pathway for healing in motion, and a greater purpose in helping organize the annual Community Strong Race Weekend, an Algoma Family Services Foundation event that helps raise money for youth mental health supports.
The event began in 2021 as an informal half marathon between friends – 20 people ran that first day, Provenzano said – but “Brett’s Run” has since grown into one of the community’s most visible fundraisers for youth mental health awareness.
Last year, more than 80 runners signed up for the half marathon alone, including participants from as far away as Montreal, Iowa and Michigan.
“You don’t expect something to grow this quickly,” Provenzano said. “But it has — and it’s because the community wants to do something. They want to support each other.”
The race — which includes a kids’ run, a 5K Colour Run, a 10K and half marathon and a Boston Marathon qualifier — takes place June 21 and 22, with all proceeds going to Algoma Family Services Foundation to support youth across Algoma.
The story of the Community Strong Weekend began, though, with a parent’s heartbreak.
Brett’s death was sudden, when she and her husband were away — the factors leading up to the event were described to her as “the perfect storm,” Provenzano said.
There were no signs of mental illness with the popular high school athlete. His family may never know entirely what was going through the young man’s mind that night. But by morning, Brett was gone.
“It took a long time,” she said. “And It took years of counselling to understand that I’m not to blame.”
For two and a half years, Provenzano said she could barely function. She stopped going to the gym. She would attend regular counselling sessions and meetings with Algoma Family Services, but something else was missing. She didn’t know how to begin healing.
Then, with encouragement from friends, she joined the Sault Striders, a local running club. At the beginning, Provenzano said, she was the slowest runner at her first 5K race.
“But they waited for me at the finish line,” she said. “They cheer you on. That’s what community is all about. It’s knowing you are never left alone.”
At that point, she said, she realized that running was going to help in the healing process.
Running became a form of therapy for Provenzano. She learned about nutrition, hydration, conditioning, how a runner builds physical strength and endurance. Through that, she also learned how to carry the grief.
It’s not easy, she said. Even during the annual run.
“I'll be honest, there's been times I’ve gotten to Bellevue Park and I'm like, ‘what the hell am I doing here?’”, she said. “Almost texting my husband, ‘Can you pick me up?’”
“And then I think – no, I can't do that. I have people at the finish line waiting for me,” she said. “Brett would want me to keep going.”
But it’s not just about race times and endurance. Provenzano is careful to keep the purpose of the Community Strong Weekend at the centre.
“This isn’t just about Brett,” she said. “It’s about all the families out there who are hurting.”
Fifteen years after his death, Provenzano still attends a parents’ support group at Algoma Family Services. Some members of the group are new to the grief of having lost a child. Others, like her, have been on the road much longer.
She freely shares advice, she said — like how to leave a party if the grief becomes too much, or how to survive the first Christmas without your child.
“I’m just trying to help people in a roundabout way,” she said. “Take what I have inside of me – because the pain is unbearable when you let it hit you.”
There’s also the knowledge that AFS supports mental health programming for children, youth and families in the Sault Ste. Marie area. That includes covering costs for peer support groups, art and wellness activities.
“If you can get the awareness out,” Provenzano says, “or if people come when they’re really down about something or have lost someone, they can challenge themselves and take that mental break from constantly thinking their person isn’t here anymore — whether it’s a son, a parent, whoever.”
“If they’re surrounded by people who’ve been down that road, or who know someone who has, then that makes a difference.”
“This year’s been especially hard,” she said. “I turned 60. It’s been 15 years. He would’ve been 30.”
But, like any dedicated runner, Provenzano keeps showing up. Not just for herself, or for her son, but for others.
Eventually, she’d like the Community Strong Weekend to grow into something like the Ottawa Race Weekend, which draws 30,000 participants.
“I just want it to continue,” she said. “And I want the focus to stay the same — on why we’re out there. For Brett. For everyone else we’ve lost. For the ones still here. And for those who just need a break from the pain.”
To learn more about Community Strong Weekend, visit saultstrong.ca.
To learn more about the Algoma Family Services Foundation visit afsfoundation.ca.
To make a donation to the Community Strong Weekend Race, visit the event page.